Funny!

20 Everyday Items If They Were Designed For Batman

who else but RONNIE

Ronnie’s fastest break, and the fastest on record was recorded by The Guinness Book of World Records at 5 minutes and 20 seconds.

it will be gross for some of you, don’t say i didn’t warn you. *intense graphics*
Linked from here

[Excerpt from In the Fog, Sagawa’s post-cannibal best-selling account of his murder of fellow Dutch student Renée Hartevelt in Paris]

11th JUNE, 1981 - ” I am amazed.
She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
Tall, blonde, with pure white skin, she astonishes me with her grace.

I invited her to my home for a Japanese dinner. She accepts.
After the meal I asked her to read my favorite German Expressionist poem.

As she reads i can’t keep my eyes off her.

After she leaves I can still smell her body on the bed sheet where she sat reading the poem. I lick the chopsticks and dishes she used.

I can taste her lips. My passion is so great. I want to eat her.
If I do she will be mine forever. There is no escape from this desire.

I arrange for her to read the poem for me once more. I lie to her.
I tell her I want to record the poem on tape for my Japanese teacher.

She believes. I prepare everything. The cassette recorder for the poem,
the rifle for the sacrifice.

She arrives on time. After drinking tea and whisky, she speaks.
She smiles at me.

But I know inside that I’m the strangest one of all. Her yellow sleeveless top shows off her beautiful white arms. I can smell her body.

I turn on the recorder. She starts to read . She speaks in perfect German.
I reach for the rifle hidden beside the chest of drawers.

I stand slowly and aim the riffle at the back of her head. I cannot stop myself.

There is a loud sound and her body falls from the chair onto the floor.
It is like she is watching me.

I see her cheeks, her eyes, her nose and mouth, the blood pouring from her head. I try to talk to her, but she no longer answers.

There is blood all over the floor. I try to wipe it up, but I realize I cannot stop the flow of blood from her head.

It is very quiet here. There is only the silence of death.

I start to take off her clothes. It is hard to take the clothes off a dead body. Finally it is done. Her beautiful white body is before me. I’ve waited so long this day and now it is here. I touch her ass. It is so very smooth. I wonder where I should bite first. I decide to bite the top of her butt. My nose is covered with her cold white skin. I try to beat down hard, but I can’t. I suddenly have a horrible headache. I get a knife from the kitchen and stab it deeply into her skin.

Suddenly a lot of sallow fat oozes from the wound. It reminds me of Indian corn. It continues to ooze. It is strange. Finally I find the red meat under the sallow fat. I scoop it out and put it in my mouth. I chew. It has no smell and no taste. It melts in my mouth like a perfect piece of tuna. I look in her eyes and say: “You are delicious.”

I cut her body and lift the meat to my mouth again and again.
Then I take a photograph of her white corpse with its deep wounds.

I have sex with her body. When I hug her she lets out a breath.
I’m frightened, she seems alive. I kiss her and tell her I love her.

Then I drag her body to the bathroom. By now I am exhausted, but I cut into her hip and put the meat in a roasing pan.

After it is cooked I sit at the table using her underwear as a napkin.
They still smell of her body.

Then I turn on the tape of her reading the German poem and eat.

There is not enough taste. I use some salt and some mustard and it is delicious, very high quality meat. Then I go back to the bathroom and cut off her breast

and bake it. It swells while it cooks. I serve the breast on the table
and eat it with a fork and knife. It isn’t very good. Too greasy.

I try to cut into another part of her body. Her thighs were wonderful.
Finally she is in my stomach. Finally she is in my stomach.

Finally

she is mine. It is the best dinner I’ve ever had.Afterwards I sleep with her.

Next morning she is still here. She doesn’t smell bad. Today I must finish cutting up her body.I have to put it into suitcases and sink it in the lake.

It will be her grave.

I touch the cold body again and I wonder where I should start.
I start to cut off all the meat before amputating the limbs.

While I cut her calf I suddenly want to taste it.
I see the beautiful red meat beneath the fat.

I grasp her knee and her ankle, and tear it with my teeth.
It is tender. I slowly chew and savor it.

After eating most of the calf I look at myself in the mirror.
There is grease all over my face. And then I start to eat at random.

I bite her little toe. It still smell of her feet.
I stab the knife into her arch and see the red meat deep inside.

I thrust my fingers inside and dig out the meat and put it in my mouth.

It tastes okay. Then I stab the knife into her armpit.

Ever since I saw it under her yellow sleeveless top I wondered how it
would taste this good. The wonderful taste cheers me up and I devour her underarm up to the elbow.

Finally I cut off her private parts. When I touch the pubic hair it has a
very bad smell. I bite her clit, but it won’t come off, it just stretches.
So I throw it in the frying pan and pop it in my mouth.

I chew very carefully and swallow it. It is so sweet.

After I swallow it, I feel her in my body and get hot.
I turn the body over and open her buttocks, revealing her anus.

I scoop it out with my knife and try to put it in my mouth.
It smells too much. I put it in the frying pan and throw it in my mouth.

It still smells. I spit it out. I go into the next room.
It smell of fat, like I’ve been frying a chicken.

It’s been twenty-four hours now. Some huge flies hover and buzz in the bathroom. I try to chase them away, but they came back.

They swarm on her face. They seem to tell me that I’ve lost her forever.
It is no longer her. Where is she? She’s gone far away.

I’ve broken her. Like a child who breaks his toy. I try to use an electric knife to cut her body. It doesn’t work. It just makes a loud sound.

I use a hatchet. I strike several times. It’s hard work. I strike her thigh. Her body jumps up. If she could feel, it would have hurt.

Finally the thigh separates from her body. I bite it again,
like I would bite a chicken leg. Then I cut off her arms.

It is even harder than the thigh. I use the electric knife again.
It makes a shrill sound, like the sound of her shrill voice.

It works this time. Her hand still wears a ring and a bracelet.
When I see her long fingers I am driven by another impulse.

I use her hand to masturbate. Her long fingers excite me.

When I’m finished I try to bite her finger. I can’t. I’m disappointed.
I put her hands into the plastic bag along with her legs.

And then I see her face. It is still quiet. She has a small nose and a sweet lower lip. When she was alive I wanted to bite them.

Now I can satisfy that desire. It’s so easy to bite off her nose.
As I chew the cartilage I can hear the noise.

I use a knife to cut off more of the cartilage and put it in my mouth.
It really doesn’t taste very good.

I scoop out her lower lip with my knife and put it in my mouth. It has hard skin. I decide to eat it later when I can fry it.

So I put it in the refrigerator.

I want her tongue. I can’t open her lower jaw, but I can reach in between her teeth. Finally it comes out. I cut it off and put it in my mouth.

It’s hard to chew. I see my face in the mirror. Her tongue entwined with my tongue. I try to close my mouth, but her tongue slips out.

Finally I cut the skin off the tongue and taste the meat.

I try to eat her eyes. It’s hard for me to stab into them, though it is the easiest part of her face. I can tears coming from them.

It frightens me. Her eyes are all that is left of her face.
It is nearly a skull.

I decide to take out her stomach. When I stab under her navel a little fat appears and then I can see the red meat under the fat.

I slice a piece of the red meat and put it on a plate. Then I stab into the stomach. The internal organs appear.

There is a great length of rolled tubes and I find a gray bag at the end of the tubes. It must be the bladder. There is a strong smell as soon as I pick it up. I thrust my hand into her body cavity.

There is another bag. It must be her womb. If she had lived she would have had a baby in this womb. The thought depresses me for a moment.

I pull out the intestines. My hands sting from the digestive juices.
At last I have to cut off her head.

It is the most difficult thing I have to do. I cut off the meat on her neck until I can see bone, then I cut again. She still wears her necklace.

I try to use the electric knife, but it doesn’t work very well.
It just makes its shrill sound.

So I use the hatchet. I imagine myself on the guillotine.
It is surprisingly easy to cut through.

With the head gone her body is now only flesh.
When I grab the hair and hang up the head, I realize I am a cannibal.

I put the head in a plastic bag. I separate the body and put it into two plastic bags. They are heavy. It is hard to put them into the suitcases.

I am finished. It is midnight. I call a taxi.

I am back home. I turn the TV and open the refrigerator.
I put the dishes on the glass table. I recognize each pieces of meat.

This is part of her hip and this is part of her thigh.
I fry them on the stove. I set the table.

There is mustard, salt, pepper and sauce. I put her underwear beside the dish.

I sniff it and look at a nude woman in a magazine.

I try to remember which part of her is in my mouth, but it is difficult to connect the meat with a body. It just seems like a piece of meat.

I continue to eat her body until I am caught. Each day the meat becomes more tender, each day the taste is more sweet and delicious. ”

Murderer

Lol murderer is still alive -.-

THE AFTERMATH - Sagawa walks free

Sagawa openly confessed to what he had done, but a judge ruled that he was not mentally fit to stand trial.

Sagawa was sent to the Paul Guirald Asylum for an undetermined period of time.

Akira Sagawa, his father, helped workout a deal,
and he was transferred to a hospital in Japan not long after.

He was soon judged fit enough to be sent to prison,
where he stayed for only 15 months before being paroled.

He was free to go wherever he pleased,
and was even granted a passport to go to Germany.

Sagawa now lives in Tokyo and is a minor celebrity in Japan.
He is often invited as a guest speaker and commentator.

He also writes restaurant reviews and in 1992 he appeared in Hisayasu Sato’s film Sisenjiyou no Aria (The Bedroom) as a sadosexual voyeur.

He admits to still having fantasies about cannibalism,
but says he never wants to realize them again.

Besides books about the murder he committed,
Sagawa wrote a commentary book Shonen A in 1997 on the Kobe Children’s Serial Murder of 1997, when a 14-year-old called “Boy A” (”Shonen A”) killed and decapitated a child.

His story inspired the 1981 Stranglers song “La Folie” and the 1983 Rolling Stones song “Too Much Blood”.

He tells people that he is completely safe, and has no desire at all to repeat what he did. As he simply puts it, he had a fantasy, acted on it,

and that’s that. Apart from giving interviews to the Media,
he likes to paint, and do sculptures.

He has even managed to persuade women to pose nude for these.

He now says he has fantasies of being eaten by a western woman, and believes it is the only thing that can save him.

amazing.

nice song great performance…

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take a look at this article pubished 2 years ago!

US-led global recession
A Chinese perspective on America’s Economic Crisis

by Lau Nai-keung

Global Research, October 19, 2005
China Daily

It’s time to take seriously a US-led global recession

I think it is time that we should take a serious look at the possibility that the US is going to take us down towards a worldwide recession in one or two year’s time.

It is well known that the US is the world’s biggest economy, taking up about 30 per cent of global GDP, but it is now also the world’s biggest debtor country. According to the most authoritative person on this subject, the US Comptroller General David Walker, who audits the federal government’s books, the tab for the long-term promises the US Government has made to creditors, retirees, veterans and the poor amounts to US$43,000 billion, US$145,000 per US citizen, or US$350,000 for every full-time worker.

And this figure does not even take into account all the personal debts such as credit card bills and mortgages. With a low interest rate of 1 per cent running for the past three years in a row, savings plummeted to just 1.8 per cent last year, below 1 per cent since January and at zero in the latest estimate from the Bureau of Economic Analysis. In 2000, household debt broke 18 per cent of disposable income for the first time in 20 years. Credit card debt alone averages US$7,200 per household.

The US Government indebtedness is financed this way: The US now runs a trade deficit roughly 6.5 per cent of its GDP and the gap is widened every day. Its citizens are spending ever more on foreign goods, and with the US dollar as the international currency, the US Government just prints money to finance the deficit. And with this money, central banks in the surplus countries purchase most of the US Treasury bonds as currency reserve.

By now, Japan is the largest creditor of the US Government, and the Chinese mainland has been a fervent buyer for the last few years. As for Hong Kong, most if not all of our reserves are in US dollar denominated assets. The US Government in turn uses this foreign borrowed money to finance as much as 90 per cent of the federal deficit which stood at US$412 billion last year. The federal deficit is expected to be running at about US$2 billion a day at the moment.

Put it simply, the Americans have been living way beyond their means for much too long. On top of this, the Bush Administration is cutting tax at least three times while fighting an expensive war in Iraq, which has already cost the country US$700 billion, and currently progressing at US$5.6 billion per month. Now the US economy is dependent on the central banks of Japan, China and other nations to invest in US Treasuries and keep American interest rates down. The low rates keep American consumers snapping up imported goods.

Any economist worth his salt knows that this situation is unsustainable. This includes the country’s economic guru driver Alan Greenspan, who recently warned his countrymen that the federal budget deficit would hamper the nation’s ability to absorb possible shocks from the soaring trade deficit and the housing boom. Now he may have to add two more worries: soaring oil prices and cyclones.

The US is now clearly in huge trouble, economically, socially, politically, and internationally. The Bush Administration bungled big in cyclone Katrina’s aftermath in New Orleans, and then a minor rerun from Rita in Houston, and this will trigger the general outburst of people’s dissatisfaction with the government, leading to great internal turmoil lasting for many years. In all likelihood, long-term interest rates are going to rise, and the greatest property bubble the world has witnessed is going to burst in the next one to two years.

The countdown is in progress, and there is no way that anybody can do anything to reverse it either by short-term measures such as fiscal and monetary policy, or through long-term reform of tax policy, entitlement programmes and even the entire federal budget. This is as inevitable as gravity, and it will take place under a new and inexperienced chairman of the Federal Reserve Board. I do not want to sound alarmist, but I see very bad omens.

To make things simple, let us just examine some key economic issues raised by some economists:

What if the dollar plummets? Do stocks follow? How about pensions?

What if interest rates soar? How would all the new homeowners, who stretched to buy with adjustable and interest-only loans, cover their mortgages?

How would consumers with record credit-card debt make their payments? Would they stop buying? Stop taking vacations? What will happen if they go bankrupt? New rules going into effect later this year make it harder on such debtors.

How would a government, which depends on the taxes of a strong economy to operate, keep all its promises?

To us, the good news is that when the country is in deep trouble, the US will not have the energy to pick on China. Even when it is necessary to start another war to divert people’s attention, it would pick one much smaller in size and weaker in strength, like Iran. This will provide a much more amicable environment for China to make good use of its “period of strategic opportunity” till 2020 for the country to pass through a turbulent zone between per capita income of US$1,000-3,000.

But in the short term, now the US not only sneezes, and all symptoms indicate that it is going to suffer from a SARS-like trouble, the whole world should take extra precaution not to get infected. One thing is for sure, some time in the not too distant future, every central bank and institutional investor is going to dump US dollar and US Treasury bonds. Once, when a country like South Korea dumps the dollar, the still unsold US Treasuries in the asset column of Asian central banks - US$2,000 billion according to some estimates - will collapse. The cheapened dollar will cause a sudden jump in the US inflation, which forces the Fed to jack up interest rates. A giant leap in inflation will cause a severe recession, or perhaps a depression, in the US. These countries’ exports to America will dry up, which in turn will spread the global economic downturn like wildfire.

After the stampede, everybody is going to get hurt, not least the central bank of China, and the Hong Kong Monetary Authority, which are major US creditors and with the US as their number one export market. The recent currency reform of the RMB is most timely, and it is about time we should do something about the Hong Kong dollar. At the same time, China should make extra efforts to rekindle internal consumption, and diversify its market really fast before the great US bubble bursts.

Global Research Articles by Lau Nai-keung

http://globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=1110

There are news about it already, it was said that a vast number of loyal japanese fans has launched an online origami-folding campaign to wish for a miracle for ayu. So sweet…., maybe we should also do this!!

Translation by goku@ayunite:

Hamasaki Ayumi confessed to deafness in left ear
Yesterday, Japanese Queen Hamasaki Ayumi confessed that her left ear has completely lost all hearing function. However, she will not give up being a singer, and even said that she will only leave her career when her right ear also loses hearing. After hearing these brave words, a vast number of loyal fans has launched an online origami-folding campaign to bring blessings to their idol.

Celebrating her 10th year in the entertainment industry, ayu has decided to go on her second Asia Tour “Asia Tour 2008 ~10th Anniversary~”" in April. After her CountDown concert on New Year’s Eve at Yoyogi First Gymnasium, ayu posted a message on her TeamAyu website at 4.55am yesterday, saying that her ear has been having problems for the past few years, which resulted in sudden deafness. The problem existed until last year, when a trip to a ear specialist confirmed that she had lost all hearing in her left ear.

Will Not Give Up Career
Even though her left ear is beyond repair, ayu still seems strong. She promised her fans that she will not give up easily on her career. Ayu said that she will continue on using her right ear until the very end, using this to prove that she is a professional singer.

Actually, ayu’s hearing problems started about 7 years ago, until in 2000 summer, when a sudden loss of hearing caused her to cancel numerous concerts. Also during that year, while rehearsing her a concert, she accidentally fell from the top of a 1.5m platform, worsening her health. This has also caused ayu to have to use her hand to press on her earpiece during recent performances, affecting the quality of her singing.

Folding Paper Cranes to Bless Their Idol
Using her TeamAyu website, ayu announced her breakup with Tomoya Nagase last July, and news of her loss of hearing yesterday. Many fans immediately left messages on the site, cheering their idol on. Fans on the Japanese forum mixi also praised ayu for being a true professional, and even launched a paper crane folding campaign to bring blessings to ayu, wishing for her left ear to make a surprise recovery.

With regards to the Asia Tour this April, her record company has only released information on 19 stops in Japan so far. Overseas destinations have yet to be announced, and ayu’s hearing problems may cause some problems in future performances.

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